The Truth About Bad Habits By Anastasia Netri

The other day, I was sitting in my bedroom faced with a decision about whether to go exercise or go to the coffee shop. I used to exercise every day. Lately, so much in my life has shifted that I somehow, without even noticing, got out of the habit of daily exercise. It's been nearly three weeks now, and find myself craving the morning cup of joe (I NEVER used to drink coffee either!) and not exercising. No wonder I'm tired!

The decision seemed obvious, which was to go and exercise. However, when I stood up, my entire body was screaming "NOOO!" and I felt like I was having to force myself, which is a painful, yucky, and uncomfortable feeling.

I took a step back and became fascinated at what was going on. I was resisting something that I knew would make me feel fantastic! It seemed easier to choose something that would cause a drop in my energy level after the "high" wore off. Not to mention that I got to beat up on myself for making the "wrong" decision.

So, in this moment of coffee vs. exercise, I sat and really went inward. I asked the question I've never really asked point blank before - Why is it so darn easy to get into bad habits, and so hard to get into good ones?

After I posed the fateful question, the answer came to me within seconds.

Are you ready? Really ready to discover the answer? Well, here it is:

Bad habits keep you in the state of "status quo". Good habits move us forward and promote change, personal growth, and expansion.

A "bad" habit keeps us stuck in "status quo" for a few reasons, here are some to be aware of:

The habit promotes a decrease in your energy level
The habit keeps you in a state of distraction
The habit causes you to beat up on yourself ("I can't believe I did that - again! What's wrong with me?). There is no better way to NOT expand and grow than negative "self talk".

This awareness has really helped me. The moment I understood that I was only resisting change, I immediately got up and exercised. I also had the realization that I will need to keep reminding myself of that until I have formed the "good habit" again.

Eben Pagan, a expert on this, calls it "habit gravity". He says that when you first are beginning to form a new habit (especially one that will move you forward in life) it literally feels like you are defying gravity for the first few days. Just knowing that helps.

Only you know where to begin. Really, we all do. Understand that any time you are moving forward in life your conditioned mind will put up resistance. You can train your mind to change. I am a big fan of small steps. You needn't shock your mind with trying to turn everything around tomorrow.

Eventually we will return to our comfort zone unless we take care of ourselves, and have patience with growing out of it.

I'll give you an example. Let's say you want to exercise more, but you have not gotten off the couch in three months. You set a goal that starting tomorrow you are going to go to the gym every day for an hour. After about 2 days it will seem like torture, at least it has for me! Like I said before, I am a fan of small steps.

How about setting a smaller goal, like taking a walk around the block for 15 minutes two or three days next week? This seems a lot more realistic - and you are more likely to actually do it. The next week make it 20 minutes. The following week, add a day. Just keep setting the goal a little higher each week, and within 3 - 6 months you'll probably be exercising every day for an hour AND you'll be more likely to stick with it.

I also suggest getting an "accountability buddy" - a friend that you can report to - and vice versa. Get very clear on what you want the other to do. In other words - how do you want them to hold you accountable?

I did this with a friend once, and I told her that the best way she could hold me accountable was with loving encouragement. If I did not accomplish my goal, I would then be asked to remind her what the benefits are of this goal. Why am I doing it?

Remember, your thinking forms your habits. Your habits then shape your results. So be sure to keep reminding yourself how productive habits will turn out. What benefits will they have? What is naturally going to happen in your life as a result?

You are stronger than you think! Pick just one thing - whatever feels like it is the most important habit that you are ready to shift. Then, decide on a small step that you feel excited about and know is something you will do. It is important to build trust in yourself and get a "taste of success" from time to time. Small goals help you do that. One day you'll look back and be blown away at how far you've come.

Someone asked me recently "How do I change? How do I follow my passions when I have to eat and pay bills every day?" I replied, "Little by little. Just start somewhere."

Copyright 2008 Anastasia Netri


Author's Bio



About Anastasia Netri, CLC

Anastasia Netri is a Transition Life Coach and the Founder of of Courage For Transition, a coaching company designed to help individuals move through major transitions in their life with ease, support, and empowerment.