Change is All About Perspective by Anthony Robbins

In these shaky times, our sense of confidence and certainty can bounce up and down like stock prices on Wall Street. Given the current financial crisis, plenty of people are feeling the pressure, knowing that wholesale changes in lifestyles and habits are a necessity while adjusting to new economic realities.

Some people, though, know that they want to make changes in their lives—or indeed need to make changes—but something prevents them from making that happen. However, we don’t have to wait for some life-altering event or happen-stance clue to help break us out of fear, stagnation, or frustration. We can change our mood and mindset anytime we want, and when we embrace this reality, we begin to realize how controlling our state is essential for any climb out of limiting circumstances, and for our ascendance toward those things that matter to us most.

“State management is one of the most, if not the most, important thing I’ve learned being a trainer for Tony Robbins in all these years,” said Patty Morehouse, who has been a life coach for over 23 years. “And any emotional state is made up of the three patterns—the Triad—of physiology, focus and beliefs, and the language we habitually use.”

First Pattern: Physiology

When Patty is working with her clients, regardless of the issue to be resolved, the first thing she does is coach them on their physiology—how they stand, how they’re breathing, what they’re doing with their body. In her years of experience, she’s found that if you just ask someone to stand with shoulders straight, head up, and smile, there’s no way anyone can feel overwhelmed, depressed, or frustrated. The laws of physiology simply can’t and won’t allow an enduring state of powerlessness when we incorporate these facets of physiology consistently.

“It’s about reminding people that they are in charge of their body, and that their physiology is going to make a big impact,” she said. “Just taking care of the body; drinking enough water, eating properly, having a health or fitness goal, and getting enough sleep, makes a big difference.

“What we find is that when you feel like you’re in control of your body, then you feel like you’re in control of your life,” she added. “I’ve never met anybody that’s not true for. So we start with the physiology first.”

Second Pattern: Focus/Beliefs

The next pattern to change is made up of focus and beliefs. In stressful times, a majority of people focuses on the problem, how bad they’re feeling about it, then tell everybody how bad they’re feeling about it, and look for agreement. The focus is on the problem, not on solutions.

“You have to change something here: change your focus toward the future, on what you really want,” Patty said. But the key to the future can sometimes lie in the past. Even the most cynical of people can remember a time when they had a problem, or had a goal, and either solved the problem or reached the goal. Changing focus is as simple as re-associating with past success that they simply forgot about.

By asking her clients a few questions, Morehouse can get to the root of what their beliefs are—that feeling of certainty about what something means. There can be a belief that the economy is never going to turn around, that they are never going to make more money, or that they can’t make any progress beyond where they are now.

Take for example a client who ran a company with one of her best friends from college. Though she and her partner were moderately successful, she wanted to take it to the next level but felt stuck.

“Working with the Triad, getting her into state, and asking her questions, what she realized is that the reason why she was holding back and not being successful was that that business was not the business she really wanted to be in,” Patty concluded. “The more times I asked what she really wanted—if nothing was in her way and if she were starting from scratch with no considerations—it was a completely different business.”

Her belief about who she was—her identity—was tied into being a partner within that business. One of the biggest obstacles in her way was her belief that she would be disappointing her partner. She knew, but never said out loud, what she really wanted to do, but her biggest fear was being disloyal and walking away from what they had been building.

“Anytime you say ‘I am,’ whatever comes after those words, those are your identity words,” said Morehouse. “And whoever it is you believe you are, you’re always going to act in accordance with that. You’re going to maintain that belief, that identity. I look for the things that are holding them back and help them turn those beliefs around.”

Within two sessions, her client’s future became clear. She described in detail this business that she was going to create—how she was going to be interviewed for magazines, television, and radio because people wanted her ideas. At that point, when she was fully associated with how important her work was going to be, and how big it was going to be, Patty asked whether or not she would be of more value to her partner with this new business, or as her partner now. Her client didn’t hesitate to answer. It was clear that she had to move on, and that it was better for everybody.

What she had created as a wall and obstacle became nothing compared to where she was headed. It was a matter of changing her perspective.

Third Pattern: Empowering Language

But then Morehouse’s client had to transform the third aspect of the Triad—language. With language, questions are going to be the most powerful tool. Asking the right questions is going to give you the right answers.

“When people get into stress, they’re more likely to be asking disempowering questions,” said Patty. “‘Why can’t I get ahead? What’s wrong with me? Why does this happen to me?’ Turning those questions around to be more resourceful can mean asking—what are my resources? Who can help me?’”

Her client first had to believe that she could do it, and then that she could learn how to get it done. She had resources to draw upon—including the very things she used to create the business she was already in. As she said them out loud and wrote them down, she realized that she was smart enough to learn, that there would be people to help her, and that she might make mistakes along the way, but that’s true with whatever anybody does.

Morehouse urges that shifting the questions we ask ourselves from “why” to “how” can massively impact our point of view, hence our ability to see our lives from the top, not from the bottom.

“If they identify the question they keep asking themselves, which is usually something like, ‘Why isn’t this working?’ and just shift that to a question that moves them forward, like ‘How can I make this happen?’ that’s huge.”

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