Achieve Your New Years’ Resolutions -- or Any Goal! by Jody Johnston Pawel

Every New Year, many of us set goals and resolve to meet them — only to become discouraged and quit. Here are suggestions for removing the most common barriers blocking our success — in parenting, our careers, marriage...and Life!

First, set attainable goals. To illustrate, consider "Susan," who wants financial independence.

• Affirmations are positive statements we word as if we have already achieved our goal. When Susan says her affirmation, "I am financially independent," she is reminded that she isn’t! That’s the problem with affirmations.
  
• Intentions are statements that state the outcome we want and use words that empower us to take responsibility for its success. An intention focuses on something we can do. So Susan’s intention statement might be, "I am now practicing financial responsibility in all areas of my life."
  
  
• Goals support an intention. They are actions we take to achieve our outcome. When we write a goal statement, we state our full name, write in the present tense, in positive words, using "ing" verbs whenever possible. Susan’s goal might be, "I, Susan Jones, am now saving 10% of every paycheck I receive."

Write your intention and goal statements, then read them aloud every morning and night.

The key ingredients to goal achievement are the four levels of creative energy Peggy McColl describes in her book, 8 Proven Secrets to SMART Success.

1. Thoughts. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "You become what you think about all day long." Think about that! When we repeatedly think about something with conviction, we put energy into creating whatever we are thinking about. Unfortunately, on average, 75% of thoughts are negative. When we wish for something and then cancel it out by thinking about all the reasons we can’t get it or all the possible challenges we might encounter, McColl says, "it’s like planting a healthy seed and immediately pouring weed killer on it."
   
   
2. Words. The words we say aloud to ourselves or others add energy to our thoughts.
   
   
3. Actions. When our thoughts, words and actions are all moving in the same direction, we get results.
   
   
4. Being. This last level of creative energy stems from the other three, because we become what we think, say and do. Did you get that? We become what we think, say and do.

The first barrier to goal achievement is that our thoughts, words and actions often don’t line up. If we take a positive action, but doubt we can succeed (a negative thought) or say we can’t do it (negative words), our actions will not be as successful.

To take control of our creative energies, we must first become aware of what we are thinking, saying and doing. Then choose to replace non-productive thoughts, words and actions with supportive ones.

This may sound easy, but it’s amazing how deeply ingrained our beliefs can be! I’m generally a positive person and have known about these energies for years. Yet, despite all my efforts, I simply wasn’t reaching my goals. I thought there must be some deep subconscious blockage inside me. So I did an exercise McColl suggested to discover and remove the blockage:

Take two sheets of paper. For one week, on one sheet, write things you find yourself thinking, saying and doing that are positive and supportive. Keep this sheet. On the other sheet, write things you think, say and do that are holding you back from achieving your goals. Take this sheet and rewrite each negative statement as a positive statement on the first sheet. Then destroy the second sheet in some symbolic way, like tearing, burning or crumpling it.

The second barrier to goal achievement are excuses, which dis-empower us and keep us victimized. As long as we make excuses, we will not achieve our goals. Instead, we need to accept responsibility for solving the challenge we use as our excuse. Successful people aren’t just lucky. Every successful person has overcome obstacles, endured adversity and worked through challenges.

The third barrier to goal achievement is our level of faith. Do we hope to reach our goal, but have great doubt we will? Do we believe we’ll reach it, but have some doubts? Or do we have absolute faith and no question we’ll succeed? The moment we start to doubt, we sabotage our success. So we must visualize our in advance and have absolute faith that we will achieve them. We may not know how, but we must have faith that the answer will come — maybe from left field.

Many people live by the creed, "I’ll believe it when I see it." Our beliefs, however, filter everything we see and how we interpret events. We often twist the truth to fit our beliefs and ignore anything that doesn’t fit our predictions. So naturally, we get a self-fulfilling prophecy! In reality, it’s our beliefs that dictate what we see, so as Dr. Wayne Dyer says, "You’ll SEE it when you BELIEVE it."

The fourth barrier to goal achievement is a lack of sustained motivation. Rhonda Britten, in her book Change Your Life in 30 Days says, "Motivation is a reflection of how committed we are to our goal. If we are totally committed, it’s easy to be motivated to do what we need to do, even when we don’t feel like it." When we can say, "That’s it, I’m doing this and nothing is going to stop me," we will conquer our fears and challenge ourselves to take the next step.

The following ancient Sanskrit saying sums it all up perfectly:

The Essence of Destiny

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

Choose your words, for they become actions.

Understand your actions, for they become habits.

Study your habits, for they will become your character.

Develop your character, for it becomes your destiny.

Every day we are creating our future. What future will you choose to create?

Author's Bio
Jody Johnston Pawel is a Licensed Social Worker, Certified Family Life Educator, second-generation parent educator, founder of The Family Network, and President of Parents Toolshop Consulting. She is the author of 100+ parent education resources, including her award-winning book, The Parent's Toolshop. For 25+ years, Jody has trained parents and family professionals through her dynamic workshops and interviews with the media worldwide, including Parents and Working Mother magazines, and the Ident-a-Kid television series. Jody currently serves as the online parenting expert for Cox Ohio Publishing’s mom-to-mom websites and also serves on the Advisory Board of the National Effective Parenting Initiative.