Radical Self-Honesty (and Unconscious Commitments) - By Paul Dalton

Have you ever been really frustrated with yourself for not following through on a task or activity that you know would have given you great rewards?

For example:

* Not filling out the job application even though you were really keen on moving forward in your career.
* Falling off the healthy eating plan even though you already felt uncomfortable with your level of wellbeing.
* Treating yourself to a little luxury item after you vowed to pay off maxed-out credit cards first.
* Saying you'd make more of an effort in your relationship and then spending more time in front of the TV.

I'm willing to stick my neck out and say that everyone has a little thing or area of life where their own actions stop them from getting what they really want.

The key to reversing this kind of self sabotage is to take a good look at yourself and to be completely honest about what is really going on in your head. Although we like to think that our desires are driven by what we consciously choose, there is a far more powerful force at play in the deepest recesses of your unconscious mind.

Take the guy who says he wants to move his business up to the next level. He may have all kinds of ideas and visions for where he'd like the business to go; he might even write down a few lofty goals and do some research on the kind of resources he might need. BUT, if his unconscious mind, for whatever reason, is not ready to play ball, he will inevitably seek out and find all the excuses as to why progress cannot be made right now: It's not the right time; the market is not there; he's too busy; he's too tired; there's no support; his wife wouldn't like it... And the sad thing is that probably the only place where any of these excuses are actually true is in the story he's making up in his head.

He will only be able to stop obstructing himself when he is willing to admit that he is holding onto an unconscious commitment to keep his business exactly where it is right now.

Initially it can be a very uncomfortable thing to acknowledge that you may be unconsciously committed to avoiding the very thing you say you want. Some people start out by strenuously resisting this notion. The purpose of taking a radically honest stance is not to beat yourself up about not doing the best you can, but it's to uncover the mental blocks that are getting in the way of your success.

The really cute thing about the unconscious mind is that, despite its infinite wisdom, it really isn't very good at distinguishing between a real threat to our physical being and an imagined threat to our imagined being, or self-image -- otherwise known as the ego.

When you are about to embark on an exciting but uncertain journey the ego has no assurances that it will survive unscathed. "What if I fail? What will other people think? What if they disapprove? What if I can't handle the pressure of success?"

Your subconscious is an extremely powerful force in your life and drives the majority of your behavior. But it craves familiarity! It likes your self image just the way it is and, left to its own devices, will organize your thoughts and actions to keep it that way. If you want to move past this you have to become aware of what's really going on inside and consciously decide to override this well intentioned protection system with deliberate thoughts and actions that are congruent with your desired outcome.

Anyone can overcome their unconscious commitments and unblock the flow of success in their life, but it takes two things: Radical self-honesty that the only obstacle you are facing is yourself, and a genuine willingness to be consciously committed to turning the situation around.

I encourage you to think about your own life and the areas where you may have unconscious commitments that stop you achieving the results you want. Here are some steps to overcome them (it's important that you let go of any self-judgment as you do this).

1. Identify the non-desirable recurring issues in your life. What do you find yourself consistently complaining about, either verbally to others or silently to yourself? Have you been blaming something or someone for holding you back?

Example: You've been fed up for ages that you are working so hard in your job that it leaves you too little energy to go to the gym.

Now, as if you knew that this is just an excuse, finish off the following sentence with the real unconscious truth.

"I am committed to..."

Example:

* "I am committed to blaming everything else for my own lack of action"
* "I am committed to finding excuses not to exercise"
* "I am committed to convincing myself I am too tired when that's not actually true"
* "I am committed to presenting myself as a victim"

2. Say the unconscious commitment out loud and notice the emotional effect it creates in you. If it feels uncomfortable there's a good chance you're on the money!

3. The next step is to repeat the statement out loud over and over, but each time vary the way that you say it. Say it slowly then really quickly. Use a high pitched voice and then a deep low voice. Say it in a sexy voice and then in the style of your favorite cartoon character.

Carry on doing this for a little while and then check back in with your feelings to see how the statement affects you now. This process is very good at ‘de-sensitizing' the unconscious commitment by removing its emotional charge. When you can say the statement without any negative sensations, move on.

4. Identify the positive intention your unconscious had in giving you this commitment. Ask yourself, "What are all the positive ways in which this unconscious commitment has served me?" And with whatever comes up, send your deep gratitude and love to your unconscious for everything it has been trying to do you for doing.

Example: By making me frustrated, it was trying to get me to have a better work / life balance.

5. Create a conscious commitment to override the unconscious one

* I am committed to taking the best care of myself
* I am committed to making health and happiness the most important part of my life
* I am committed to finding creative ways to exercise even when I'm busy
* I am committed to being 100% responsible for myself

Repeat the new commitment out loud over and over until it feels natural and a part of you. Do things to remind yourself of it, like putting post-its around your desk, your home or in your car.

When you catch yourself revisiting that old unconscious commitment, which you inevitably will from time to time, just bring yourself gently back by affirming your new commitment until you feel it in your body.

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About the Author:

Paul Dalton is a Hypnotherapist and Personal Development Coach / Trainer with bags of experience in helping people change their lives for the better, combining skills from: hypnosis, neuro-linguistic programming, life coaching, leadership effectiveness, metaphysics, motivation techniques, and more.

Paul is also the proud creator of http://www.Life-Happens.co.uk - a Personal Development resource website for everyone interested in the fields of human potential, self-improvement and positive living.

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