Avoid Fair-Weather Supporters by Denis Waitley

When you seek support and feedback, be sure it is from people who are truly interested in seeing you succeed. Don’t seek feedback from fair-weather friends, competitive peers or any person who doesn’t have your best interests at heart. Neutral doesn’t count. Get feedback from someone who is on your side but will still be objective and brutally honest with you.

Misery truly does love company, and jealousy creates some of the most miserable people. Surpass the achievements of your particular social crowd or your business colleagues, and look out for the slings and arrows of those who wish you were back where they are.

You have to dodge the snide remarks and catty comments. Let them roll right off you. Don’t internalize them. Only pay attention to feedback from those who have similar goals or who are working actively alongside you to achieve goals of their own.

Motives and fears run deep. Study them in others. The manager who supports you and comforts you when you’re down may like you best when you are in just that state: down and dependent. When you start succeeding beyond his expectations and comfort level, he may be among the first to get you to back off, limit your horizons and lower your goals. Recognize this feedback for the insecurity it is. It will rarely be objective or well-intentioned.

Even parents and significant family members aren’t immune to emotional conflicts that can pollute their feedback. Many relatives and siblings have difficulty accepting the success of others in the family or encouraging further success.

Ultimately, nobody is responsible for your life but you. Nobody is accountable for your actions but you. Therefore, nobody’s expectations for you and opinions about you are as important as your own. So make sure your opinions take precedence in your mind over all others, and when you do need to consult with someone else, think very carefully before you choose exactly who.

—Denis Waitley