You know those things you do every day? Here's my partial list: be wife, mommy, daughter, sister, coach, trainer, and friend; answer emails; exercise; manage pets; call the plumber; call the phone company; buy more dog food; change the light-bulb; pay the bills; manage the family calendar; and so much more. This list goes on indefinitely, too.
And, if I am not careful, these two lists shall never meet. List number one will forever be dominated by the hands-on-hips glare of self-important list number two. And list number two does have a point. She is filled with the items that MUST get done. Her tasks concern "real" issues such as getting food on the table, running a business, getting the kids to violin and ballet, making doctor's appointments, putting the kids to bed at night, and getting them up in the morning, on TIME.
List number one has none of these serious issues to offer. All she has is her commitment to balance, love, fun, creativity, and living life to the fullest. List number one does have a secret, though. She knows how important she is. Unlike list number two, she doesn't need to prove herself. She just patiently waits for her opportunity to shine. So how do we let our number one list shine when days, weeks, and months fly by, filled with the concerns of list number two?
Well, I have recently implemented a strategy. I have begun to put my list one items in my calendar. I started with belly dancing lessons. No, I am not a dancer, but if the presence of a "belly" is a requirement, then after 3 kids, I've got that one covered. In fact, the last time I took a dance class was ballet when I was 7. So, to say I am a beginner is an understatement. On top of that, when my daughter saw me watching a belly dancing "how-to" DVD and trying to practice some of the "moves," she suggested that I stop it immediately. This gives you an idea of my natural talent.
Luckily, list number one does not care about what people think or whether things make sense. I forged ahead with my strategy. I made a note on a particular day to find a class and sign up. Each time I came across that note and didn't have time to do it, I moved it forward to the next day, the next week, and yes, the next month.
It took three months, but finally there was a day in which I was able to take the time to find and sign up for a class. That set the wheels in motion. I found someone to stay with the kids, purchased a beginner's skirt and set of finger cymbals, and blocked out those Wednesday classes in my calendar.
As soon as I make lunches for the kids, start dinner, and get my little one in the tub, I'm going to practice my moves!
COACH ME QUICK TIPS FOR LIST NUMBER ONE:
1. Identify one item that you have wanted to do, take care of, learn about, or research, for some time.
2. What is the first step on that project?
3. When can you take that step? Next week? Next month? Whenever it is, just put it in your calendar. If you use an electronic calendar, you can always move it forward digitally. If you use a handwritten calendar, write it on a post-it so that it can be moved forward if needed.
4. Allow list number one to shine!
About the Author:
Prior to becoming a coach, Ms. Tenzer worked as a talent executive and producer in the television industry. During those years, she found that one of the most meaningful aspects of her work was the opportunity to coach her team members and colleagues as they faced and overcame challenges in the workplace. It was this enthusiasm for coaching that inspired her in 2001 to establish Life Works Coaching, a company dedicated to serving busy women.
Ms. Tenzer is a busy woman living in Los Angeles with her husband and three children. Visit her at http://www.lifeworks4ucoaching.com
Member: International Coaching Federation, Producers Guild of America, Academy of Television Arts and Sciences
Check out the Experts page for Jamee Tenzer.
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